A Sancuary of Strange & Weird /  by Illume System Studio

Where does inspiration come from? Creativity? Passion? Strength? On this day of reflection after the loss of David Bowie, I must pause and revisit these questions. Not for answers, but to acknowledge that finding intention in my life is more important than understanding the why of it.

a diversion from the original purpose.jpg

David Bowie was bigger than life to myself and many others. He lived his art, breathed his creative passion and endured through sickness with strength, continuing to give to us what we all desperately crave: Pure Love.

I had an uncle that, when I was still in elementary school in the 1980's, introduced me to my love of music. I remember when I got my first Walkman and started taking it to school. I went to a small Montessori school that let me sit alone to do my work and I would listen to tapes over and over again. Some of my best, most focused reading moments at that time were probably when I would take the cassette out and scour the fold out for the lyrics, rewinding and playing songs over and over until I had the whole album memorized. All for the simple pleasure of being able to sing along with the same passion and expression as the musicians.

I'd labor on getting the intonations just right. First I remember doing this with the Police's Synchronicity album. There was also Madness, the Selector and the new bands tossed into fame by the new TV station called MTV. But shining over them all was Bowie. His emergence with his Modern Love album was for me my first introduction to his music, but of course, he'd been at it since before I was in diapers. Even without the help of the Internet, I soon learned I could backtrack into his already amazing career. 

Clockwise from Left to right: My teenage self at the piano, a place where the sounds of chaotic family life disappeared, myself at 14 at home in Santa Barbara, more recently in Seattle, 2009 in Bellingham. Hear some of my music project Halfmoon, and…

Clockwise from Left to right: My teenage self at the piano, a place where the sounds of chaotic family life disappeared, myself at 14 at home in Santa Barbara, more recently in Seattle, 2009 in Bellingham. Hear some of my music project Halfmoon, and Isle of Horses.

When I was nine years old I didn't really grasp the depth of the lyrics; what was modern love anyways? But I remember feeling the passion even so. Others of my peer group used to say how weird he was. I agreed, but I also felt something inside me that was akin to that strangeness. 

I didn't know or understand the complexities of my home life at that time. I couldn't of foresaw the turmoil that was about to be unleashed on my siblings and I, but I now believe it was through music and the sanctuary of strange and weird that got me through. 

Looking back, I truly believe that through listening to other artists delve into their own dark places, strange diversions and curious perspectives, I was given permission to explore these same avenues in myself. It is there, deep in the universal consciousness of the unknown that inspiration lurks, creativity pulses and passion purrs. They all lie just under the surface of the understanding. Strength comes from letting it all flow through you.

As we loose another illuminated artist from this realm, countless more continue flowing, giving and sharing. What he has left behind for us all to bath in is a beautiful reminder of a life lived well. He was tapped into the pulse of human experience; one only read his lyrics to know that. 

Thank you Mr.Jones for your graciously artful life. You gave so much of yourself through your expression so that we could have the opportunity to see that possibility of expression within ourselves. I imagine your are now absorbing back into the source of it all, feeling pure love, pure light and stepping through the door, floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today...

 

Clarity Comes in Waves /  by Illume System Studio

Clarity Comes in Waves

 

There's no use looking too closely,

You're looking for it, so,

you know it will appear.

Maybe not today, and not yesterday,

but because you are looking,

it will appear.

 

Everything you imagine,

is happening.

Maybe not here, or to you, or your love,

But, you thought it

and it becomes.

 

Maybe the clouds just arrive

in clumps of endless gauzy skyfulls.

Molecules of ideas, thoughts, and possible tomorrows,

percolated essences of sentient evaporations.

 

Droplets fall into gravity.

You look in the mirror 

for a way to defy the pull.

But clarity comes in waves.

And by counting the waves breaking over the rocks

Instead of finding the pause,

you feel the force of each passing year,

everything happens,

you see it all,

so let go.

The Anxiousness of 'Getting In' /  by Illume System Studio

I have once again stepped into the anxiety triggering realm of 'Calls For Art."

                       Prep work for the Ghost Gallery Annual Miniature Art Extravaganza

                       Prep work for the Ghost Gallery Annual Miniature Art Extravaganza

The process is really quite simple: Find Call's for art that seem relevant (Seattle's Artist Trust is a great resource for this), send an email with images (in proper dpi/size, title, medium, dimensions) and an updated Artist Statement.

Simple yes, However, it's TERRIFYING!

Yet, it's something I must do, and regularly do to keep myself moving towards my dream to be a working artist. A working artist for those that may not know does not mean someone who just merely makes art. My definition of a working artist is someone that gets to create Their Own art as a job and actually get paid for it!

It's a vulnerable place. There are no defined parameters in the art world. There is no way to know how others see your work. You don't graduate from Art School with a degree that will be a descriptor of 'what you do'. I know how I see my work, and how much time and work I have spent developing, creating, preparing what I do. However, a piece of art doesn't necessarily reflect all that process. The work I choose to put in a show is usually a piece I feel good about. Whether or not someone likes my art or chooses it for an exhibit does effect me, but it doesn't change whether or not I continue to do it. It's just part of the whole package. A continual journey, winding and finding my way in between the spaces of my passion and other people's perceptions.

Art is a process of building upon and building upon and building upon. My new favorite answer to the question of how long it take me to make a piece of art is 42. Not because it's the Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything, but because I happen to be 42 this year.

         Varnishing and install of Wall Hangers

         Varnishing and install of Wall Hangers

The wait to find out if my work is accepted into a show is a nerve wracking experience. But in the process of submitting, I have to check in with myself and try my hardest to edit out the voice that tells me 'that sucks', or 'seriously, no one is going to pay That much for that!'.

Taking the risk to put my work in front of others keeps me motivated to get back into the studio, keep processing, keep experimenting and keep moving forward to what's next. 

I made it into Ghost Gallery's Annual Miniature Art Extravaganza. I will have 12 pieces for sale. They will be up Through to February. Artist Reception is during the Capitol Hill ArtWalk, 5-9. Come Say Hi.

I am still waiting to hear if three of my pieces were accepted into artEast's Call of the Clouds Exhibit! But you will be the first to know if I do!

Thanks for reading. Add your comments of experiences below. I would love to hear your thoughts :-)

All 12 pieces will also be available Dec. 10 - February 2016 on the Ghost Gallery Online Shop

All 12 pieces will also be available Dec. 10 - February 2016 on the Ghost Gallery Online Shop

Reflections on Doing the 100 Days of Faces Challenge /  by Illume System Studio

If I think back as far as I can, I don't think there is anything I have ever willingly attempted to do everyday for 100 days besides Sleep, Eat, and other essential human tasks. In doing this challenge, I think I have learned something about myself, my creativity and expression.

Either Side Will Do                                                                                                   Ink, Watercolor on Paper 7.5"x7.5" a new piece in the aftermath of the challenge

I am by no means going to to say I have figured it all out, not by a long shot. Yet, by doing something everyday for 100 days, I understand more about my insecurities and fears around doing things that I am passionate about.

It wasn't long ago that I was that girl in the corner of a local cafe ferociously scribbling melodramatic poetry and angsty drawings in my journal while sipping coffee and smoking rolled cigarettes. It seems as the years have slipped by I haven't given up my cafes or my journals, but I gave up the cigarettes, and somewhere down the line I stopped giving myself permission to openly express my creativity in everyday situations. 

During this 100 day challenge I had to quickly give up the idea that I would have set aside time to paint each day. If I was going to complete the challenge, I had to have all my supplies with me all the time. If that meant I had to whip them out in the waiting room before an appointment, in the car waiting to pick up my kid from school or on the beach during our family vacation, that is what I would have to do.

No more apologies for being an artist on a mission. No more worrying if someone would find it odd or showy to make art in public. I realized I have carried a heavy guilt that I wanted to make art. Even when putting my paintings up for an art show, I seemed to carry a weight of shame putting my art up. What the heck? What is that?

One of my favorite books on creativity is What It Is by Lynda Barry.

She wrote it mostly about writing, but so much of it centered on the creative process and how to stimulate it and be a doer of it. The page in the book that floored me was a simple one. It wasn't mind blowing or anything, it just struck a chord. I knew this kind of questioning intimately.

Excerp from What It Is by Lynda Barry

“Is it good? Does it suck? ”

Editing those questions out of my thoughts while making art has been a lifelong battle. I almost gave up making art worrying so much about how my creativity would be perceived.

In reflecting on the 100 days of Faces Challenge there are two things I have to say. The first is that I loosened up. I stopped worrying about judgements on my art and I even was able to have fun. My husband was even bewildered a few times when I was laughing and snickering to myself while painting. Another thing happened when I would labor on a piece that I wasn't feeling keen on. I would be amazed the next day when I looked at it and liked it. Some of those pieces ended up being my favorite in the series.

Secondly, I learned that work doesn't mean what I thought it meant. I like to work. Sitting around is boring, unless it's with intention like in meditation. I'm a doer and I like to share what I do. I realized that it's not work that is hard, it just hard to do work that you don't love. When you love your work, the word work is interchangeable with the word life.

So obviously, I am choosing work that I am passionate about and can share with others. What work do you choose?

from 100 days of faces     5"x5"      watercolor

 

In moving forward, I have not been painting everyday, but I still carry my supplies with me most places I go. I just never know when the next moment will be available to dive into a drawing or painting. I do it because It is my work and I know it doesn't suck because it comes from a place of love.

Why is it so Hard to Put Time to the Things that Matter? /  by Illume System Studio

Studio at Fremont Space, Seattle Wa.

Studio at Fremont Space, Seattle Wa.

How is it that we put off the work we get the most enjoyment out of to do the busy work that we hate?

Since moving into my Fremont Studio, I have realized how much I procrastinate going there, but once I get there, I can't believe I don't go more? It's like writing a letter or exercising. The longer you put it off, the harder it is get back to.

It boils down to discipline. You either have it or you don't. You can be the most talented __fill in the blank__, but unless you actually get to it there will be nothing to show; like it never existed. But, boy will those clothes be folded and dishes washed!

As a writer thinks about story, I am often thinking about my paintings. What I want to add next to a composition, a series that would be cool to do, squeezing paint out of tubes. If only I could telepathically create visual experiences for people....wait, that might get creepy...never-mind.

So I packed my bags, grabbed the dog and got to the studio today. Maybe it was the quintessential Autumnal rain slipping from the Seattle sky or the dark morning before we fall back with daylight savings. Whatever it was, I woke up with the forceful need for reflection, and an angry itch to make something. "I Gotta get there. Gotta paint. Let's do this!"

When I got there, I reacquainted with the current large pieces I have going and dabbled on some smaller ones. All in all, we listened to a little old school circa 91 Mazzy Star, a little St. Vincent, we laughed, we sang, we painted. It was great! I can't believe I don't get there more often!